You know the rain won't last forever...

on Thursday, February 25, 2010. Filed under: ,

I try to stay positive online. I try to keep my blog entries positive, my tweets, everything. I spend a lot of time online and as long as I appear to be positive, I can be.

I use to be one of those people who'd constantly be angry and sad or irritated at something, anything and I just don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to seem anything like that person anymore because I don't believe I am that person.

I've let go of a lot of things in my past that has kept me down. I've forced myself to forget a lot of things that make me angry or sad. I've stopped wondering why that happened to me because sitting here being upset or sad over something that's already happened is pointless. Something that I know the people who have done to me won't give me an answer to because they've forgotten that they've hurt me. So why should I spend all my time worried about it? There are some things in life that just happen. The most you can do about it is take what has happened to you and turn it into an experience. Learn something from it. Grow stronger from it.

With that said, I do try to be bubbly and happy and positive. But sometimes, stress just gets to me. It creeps up and bites me when I least expect it and I take it out on the people around me. And in the last few months, I haven't been as positive or as happy as I could be. I know I've been snapping at my husband a lot more, I've been throwing tantrums and I've been grumpy. And I hate that I have been. I hate being stressed out. I hate the headaches and migraines. I hate the anxiety and I hate getting sick from how stressed out I've been.

I feel like all the weight is on me. And maybe because it is. I'm the one who has to figure out a way out of this situation. I've given in to the thought of Debt Consolidation because I can not go on with this struggle on my own. When your minimum payments hit well over $300 for just one credit card, that's when you realize you're swimming a pool of doom. My mom wasn't too happy about this idea, I suppose and having to deal with her about it was not helping my stress. I am not in favor of the idea of bankruptcy.

My brother always hated that I never looked at the bigger picture when I was younger. I always focused on right now. What would be a great solution for right now. And it would always bite me in the ass later. I feel like my husband and my mother aren't looking at the bigger picture. I think bankruptcy would have the ability to screw us over in the long run. Not to mention that filing for bankruptcy means giving up the chance to join the military and that is not what I intend to do.

I'm the type of person who's always looking for new experiences. For new hobbies. New interests. New things. I like flipping my life upside down, inside out and spinning it around. I get bored of things too quickly and I always want something new. Maybe that's why I want to try out paid blogging  because finding these new blogs, communities and companies is new. It's new without being brand new but its enough to curb my urge for something new. Does that make sense?

Okay I got totally side tracked, Nicolas finally added a fan photo page and 3 of my pictures are up there, yay! See here. Which reminds me to get his fan page up that I've been on and off working on since.... November lol.

There was a song that a friend of mine suggested when I was down one day... I can't remember the name, lets hope its on my itunes... its this song Hope - Rain Don't Last. And this song always makes me feel better when I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why things are the way they are. Even though I think I have a pretty good hold on being positive, some days are just harder than others. Just like with OCD, some days are better and easier than others... but life isn't perfect and there's no way that in this life or in the previous or in the next that we'll have all perfect days.

I know things right now are hard, things will always be hard. That's the beauty of life, it's hard. It's challenging. It pushes you. It's up to you to push back. And even though right now I can't see a light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel, I know there is one. It's just up to me to find it. And I know I will, with time.

When you think about giving up, think of why you've held on for so long.

16 Responses to You know the rain won't last forever...

  1. .maitai

    Hun, I feel you on this post. There are so many things in life that are there to bring us down. I know I've concentrated on the bad more than the good more than I would have liked in the past and I know I still do at times. I feel you on the stress building up to the point where it's overwhelming and you just don't wanna deal with it anymore. You give me hope in knowing that even though you're going through all these tough things, you still know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I think that that is one of the most difficult things we have to realize in life: that no matter what we're going through, there's always hope and there's always a way out, whatever it is.

    And we're all here for you hun! Whenever you need to talk, need to vent, or just need a distraction, you can blog or you can email me! :D

    RYC: Ugh, it's so strange and disappointing how these security positions have restricts on those things. It just goes to show what the world is like today, with people accusing others of unwanted touching and injuries caused when someone is trying to prevent something even worse from happening (like stopping a fight, etc.)

  2. .maitai


  3. M

    Hang in there zelly! just like you said, times will always be tough but there hasnt been one tough time before this one that you havent gotten through. Remember, you're not going through it alone! you have a hubby who loves and supports you! Just keep doing what you've been doing; guiding him to be more independent like you, so you can get a break once in a while

    btw, i love your pictures w/ Fierro!! SO JEALOUS =P

  4. Simply Stacie

    Following you from the Friday Follow!

  5. B Sparkly

    Happy FF! I'm a new follower. Come by visit me at my blog.
    Have a great day:)

  6. Sarah

    Hi, found your great blog through Fri Follow. I'm now following!

  7. Dimes2Vines

    I'm a new FF follower and would love to have you stop by and follow me!

  8. Heather McDougle

    This could have been a post I wrote. I feel the exact same way as you. I have things in my past that has kept me down but I am trying to be positive and uplifting.

    I'm following you from Friday Follow!

  9. BLV's Mommy

    The number one thing that I really admire you for is your ability and bravery to try new things. In that department, I am quite a "scaredy-cat". (Sorry,I couldn't think of a better word LOL.)

  10. Midday Escapades

    Thanks for linking up with Friday Follow! I am now your blog follower. Have a wonderful weekend and pleasure to meet ya.

    ~ Lynn

  11. Rita A.

    I reach out to friends and chocolate to make me feel better. Thanks for supporting Friday Follow. Have a wonderful weekend. Rita @

  12. soapstar

    ..i know just where you're coming from. in fact loads of us out here do!
    keep smiling and following me to the friday follow party ;-)
    have a fab weekend!

  13. Felissa Hadas

    Stopping by with Friday Follow. Hope you had a fantastic week.


  14. HeartsMakeFamilies

    Hi just stopping in to say Hi from Friday Follow!

    Happy Friday!


  15. Stefan Pinto

    Have you ever heard, "in 20 years, we tend to forget why we said "no" and wish we had said "yes."?

    Kind regards,
    Stefan Pinto

  16. Marie.

    @Stefan - No, I haven't but I like that!